Bloodman's Baking Journey
by Mipsymipp6
Summary: The tales of Bloodman's baking journey. WARNING NOT FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T STAND DISGUSTING FOOD. I do not own Fairy tail.
1. Cookies oh maybe not

The Spriggans and Zeref sat around a table not for their usual meeting but for something a lot more sweeter.

Bloodman had told them that he was backing cookies to cheer Larcade up but said everyone else could have cookies too.

Everyone immediately agreed, except for one person.

Invel wondered if he was the only person who remembered Bloodman was a demon! Bloodman was probably making a poisonous demonic concoction.

"Is it a good idea to let Bloodman cook?" Invel asked voicing his worries

"Come on Invy it's only some cookies" Ajeel told him drolling at the thought of cookies

Invel sighed before stating "My name is…"

"THE COOKIES ARE HERE!" Ajeel shouted interupting Invel and looking at BLoodman who was wearing a pink frilly apron and was holding what looked like a tray of black lumps.

Invel wasn't sure what image disturbed him the most Bloodman in the pink frilly apron or the black lumps

" They probably taste better than they look. " Brandish said who was trying to convince herself more than the others

Everyone except for Wahl, who couldn't eat and Bloodman, waiting for everyone to eat his cookies reluctantly place a cookie in their mouth

The silence was then broken by the sounds of people chocking and trying to get the cookies out of their mouths

"No, they're worse then they look" Brandish said trying to get the horrid taste out of her mouth

"This was meant to make me happy." Larcade said half chocking half talking

During the commotion Ajeel managed to find Invel and whisper in his ear " Invel never repeat this to anyone, you were right"

Invel just gave off a smug grin before rushing to find a jug of water.

Zeref had entered the kitchen to see what looked like a war zone

" THE KITCHEN! BLOODMAN YOU CAN NEVER TOUCH THIS KITCHEN AGAIN! " Zeref shouted at the top of his lungs before storming away

Wahl quickly sneaked into the kitchen. Unlike the other spriggans he couldn't eat and right now he didn't really want to eat.

Wahl let out a laugh, the place was a mess. He remarked as he went back to see all the drama happening with his fellow spriggans " Well Bloodman's screwed."

Bloodman placed a cookie in his mouth before saying " Tastes good to me."


	2. Bloodman's bakery attack

In a dark cave an angry demon was rapidly baking dozens of what he called delicious treats.

Bloodman was furious but at the same time miserable. He had baked cookies for the Spriggans and Zeref and what had they done called them rubbish and made sure he would never bake again.

So there he was in the place he first learnt to bake ready to share his treats to the world.

* * *

Bloodman hid in the shadows as he looked at his first target, Green Rose's Bakery.

The bakery was closed. He broke the door open as he had already tried to squeeze through the door with unsuccessful results.

He looked at the chalk board displaying the days special's, he smashed it. In it's place he put his own chalk board with his conncotion's.

Then for the finishing touch he deposed of the old treats and replaced them with his disgusting black lumps.

However after his finishing his first bakery attack he had run out of every thing.

"Well no one would know I cheated, after all I'm bringing wonderful treats to this land." Bloodman said to himself as he began to use his demonic magic

* * *

By the time Bloodman finished his night time journey and went back to the palace it was already 12:00 the next day, that may have been the fact he made a few stops here and there.

When he walked he was welcomed by Zeref screaming "BLOODMAN!"

Bloodman gulped before saying a timid,"yes."

"A major case of food poisoning is going around because someone sneaked baked treats that tasted terrible in every single bakery!" Zeref told him his face going red with anger

"Uh, sorry" Bloodman said not meeting Zeref's eye

"SORRY! NO BAKERY WILL EVER GIVE US TREAT'S THANKS TO YOU. YOU'RE ON CLEANING DUTY FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS!" Zeref shouted at the top of his lungs his face a red as a tomato

"All by myself?" Bloodman asked in disbelief.

"No, Wahl also has cleaning duty. At least we'll never need to hire a cleaner" Zeref told him giving Bloodman a broom.

Bloodman walked away slouched and grumbling. People just couldn't understand greatness.

"No more doughnut's" Zeref moaned to himself missing his daily doughnut's already


	3. Baking with Bloodman

The Spriggans sat around the table looking at the plans Invel had laid on the table.

"Are you planning a war or a party for Zerefy?" Ajeel asked looking at the plans in disbelief

"I can always make you do the cleaning afterwards" Invel told him threateningly

"My lips are zipped" Ajeel said making a lip zipping motion

"Good, I have ready sorted except for the cake" Invel told them passing the plans around

"Why didn't you order it from a bakery" Brandish asked Invel reading through the plans

"One word, Bloodman" DImaria told her shuddering thinking of his baking creations

"Every single Bakery!?" Brandish asked in shock.

"For the people who never pay attention, what has Bloodman done to the bakery's" Wahl asked

"Maybe you sho..." Invel said before he was cut off

"Long story cut short, he sneaked all of his weird baking creations into every single bakery here" Dimaria said in an uninterested

"I actually feel sorry for the people who had to try his treats" Wahl said remembering the black lumps Bloodman had called cookies

Bloodman finally stepped out of the shadows and announced " If I can make a good cake for the emperor I can carry on baking.

"Please don't d..." Invel was saying but was once again cut of by Wahl, Ajeel and God Serena telling Bloodman to do it.

Bloodman then went to the kitchen much to Invel's displeasure.

"Why?" Invel asked the sky

"Is he ok?" Serena whispered into Wahl

"He's never ok" Wahl whispered back holding back a laugh

* * *

In the kitchen Bloodman began placing the ingredients in a line while Larcade felt himself going green looking at them from outside the kitchen

"powdered chicken brain, crushed up duck eyes, explosive powder, snails, goat brain, dog's urine" Bloodman said checking he had all the right ingredients

"I feel sick." Larcade said rushing to the nearest bathroom.

"I swear I heard Larcade" Bloodman looked behind his shoulder and shrugged

Bloodman placed random amounts of all ingredients inm a bowl that looked like a scull with a hole in it

"Why aren't you measuring the ingredients?" Brandish asked looking at his scull bowl

"I forgot the amounts" Bloodman said shrugging as he stirred the ingredients with a bone

"Good luck." Brandish said adding under her breath as she left "you'll need it."

Bloodman just kept stirring the odd mixture watching it turn into a smelly black lumpy thing.

"That looks gross" Dimaria told Bloodman trying to ignore the smell.

"Don't worry Dimaria it'll be wonderful" Wahl said sarcastically

"Thank you Wahl." Bloodman said placing his concoctioin in the oven]

Wahl snickered under his breath while Dimaria let out a sigh.

"Yes, it'll go wonderfully" DImaria said repeating Wahl's sarcasm as they both left.

Bloodman turned the oven up to 360 degrees and closed the oven door.

When Invel walked into the kitchen he was welcomed by an explosion

"BLOODMAN!" Invel screamed as Bloodman ran into his room with his odd cake to finish it.

When Bloodmna looked at his cake he decided to cheat a little bit

* * *

Zeref's birthday party had started and now it was time for the thing everyone was dreading, eating Bloodman's cake.

Bloodman brought his cake out and all the other spriggans where in shock. How did that smelly black lump turn into what looked like a beautiful sponge cake.

Zeref took a bite and the spriggans got another shock.

"This is amazing, Bloodman you get baking privileges back" Zeref told him smiling devouring his slice.

The spriggans all took a bite of the cake. However unlike Zeref the reaction was different.

The spriggans where chocking and trying to get taste of their tongue.

"This is horrid!" Dimaria shouted to Bloodman who was calmly eating a slice of cake.

Bloodman ignored her. The demonic spell he put on the cake was meant to change Zeref's taste bud's not their's.


	4. Spriggans revenge

**I want to dedicate this chapter to crystal-of-D.A. Thanks for reviewing and stuff. I will review your stories, Write another chapter for Hades cooking show and start another story (I'll do at least 2.) So enjoy**

* * *

"Everyone shut up!" Dimaria shouted at the top of her lungs and suddenly the room was quite

" Thank you, everyone as you know Bloodman has gotten back baking privilege's and we're going to get them removed." Invel told them

"Invey this is great and everything but this will fail" Wahl said lounging on his chair

"Why is that?" Invel asked furiously

"Cause you've never had any pranking experience" Ajeel told him

"Well what do you plan to do?" Invel asked Wahl

Wahl leaned in with a grin on his face and a plan formulating in his brain

* * *

Bloodman smiled. He was victorious he proved the Spriggans wrong. So what if he used a little magic. He had bigger things to care about, Zeref had asked him to make him doughnuts for a reason Bloodman didn't know about. Zeref also proclaimed he was head chef so yes he had very important things to care about.

However things didn't seem to be going well for Bloodman. When he opened the pantary he was greeted by weird and rather disgusting ingredients.

"What is this?" Bloodman asked looking at the weird horrid smelling packet which was called sugar

"Where are my toad eyes and cat's paw? How shall I cook with these odd things?" Bloodman asked himself holding something called flour

Bloodman did what all good chef's did, improvise. But he couldn't make doughnuts as all his bowls where missing.

Bloodman searched the kitchen in vain. So Bloodman did the first logical thing he could he baked on the counter.

While Bloodman was mixing a yellow thing called butter with slimy things called eggs Wahl waltzed in.

"Bloodman why are you baking on the counter?" Wahl asked looking at the counter

"I have horrible luck" Bloodman said clutching his pink frilly apron in misery

"Let Wahly help you out" Wahl said with a grin on his face.

Thousands of missiles where suddenly fired leaving the kitchen wrecked. However the kitchen was still somehow intact and Bloodman's failing dough turned into green lumps.

"Wahl you're my hero!" Bloodman said trying to hug Wahl.

Wahl ducked out of the way and quickly said welcome before rushing out of the kitchen.

Bloodman then relapsed into despair has his fried kitchen liquid was replaced by something called oil.

Once again Bloodman acted on instinct and then overflowed a bowl with oil placed the lumps into the bowl and placed everything into the oven. He then cranked the oven up to 3000 degrees.

Outside the kitchen Larcade whispered into Dimaria's ear "That is not a normal oven."

"Of course it's not, 3000 degrees is minimum heath" Dimaria whispered back as they backed away from the kitchen.

* * *

After Bloodman took his now blackened lumps he was shocked to see Zeref standing in the kitchen doorway the rest of the spriggans behind him

"BLOODMAN I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN! DON'T EVER COME IN THE KITCHEN AGAIN! TIDYNESS DUTY FOR A YEAR!" Zeref shouted at the top of his lungs.

No one noticed Invel and Wahl giving each other a rare high five

* * *

Later in Zeref's cambers he was sobbing for the 5th time today.

"All I wanted was some doughnuts."


	5. The end

"The end." Dimaria said as she and some of the Spriggans told August what he missed when he was away.

"I should never leave again." August said worrying what was going to happen next

"Don't there was that time we got pink lama's" Ajeel said remembering Rosie

"They were explosive" Invel said dryly

"So?" Ajeel asked

"My office was destroyed!" Invel shouted

"Calm down Invey. Maybe August shouldn't leave." Ajeel said without much care

"What was Bloodman's punishment?" August asked trying to stop the argument

"He's on cleaning duty with Wahl" Brandish told him

"Poor him." Ajeel said remembering when he was cleaning with Wahl

"Why?" Invel asked curious

"Wahl has an odd hobby." Ajeel said trying to phrase it right

* * *

"WAHL!" Bloodman shouted at wahl for the 6th time today

"What you don't like it?" Wahl asked innocently

"We have to clean." Bloodman said annoyed

"So?" Wahl asked trying to be innocent

"You're making it worse!" Bloodman shouted

"My picture of you're black lumps is amazing" Wahl said with pride

"They're called Demookies." Bloodman said defending his black lumps.

"Who care they look ugly." Wahl said matter of factly

"They do not" Bloodman shouted.

"They do" Wahl shouted back.

"What's on the wall!" Zeref shouted as he marched up to the arguing Spriggan's

"My beautiful drawing of Bloodman's baking journey" Wahl said with pride

"Who cares just clean it up!" Zeref said as he walked away

* * *

Later Zeref was crying again in his bedroom.

"I want doughnuts!" He wailed.

 **That's the end. I hope you liked it ~ Mipsy**


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